Parenting time

Who gets parenting time rights?

The parent who does not have custody gets some sort of parenting time rights except in unusual situations. Grandparents and other people who have a substantial relationship with the child can also get parenting time rights in some situations.

How are parenting time rights decided?

Parenting time rights are usually decided as part of a divorce or custody case. Parenting time rights are often part of one year restraining orders, too.

If you can come to an agreement with the other parent on your own or through mediation, the judge will probably make your parenting time agreement part of the final order. If you can't come to an agreement, the judge will decide.

Grandparents and other people who have a substantial relationship with the child can ask for parenting time rights in the divorce or custody case of the parents, or they can file a separate lawsuit.

Do I need a court order if I have an agreement with the other parent about parenting time?

Yes, because if the parent with custody stops the visits, only a court order can be enforced.

How much parenting time does the parent without custody get?

Most judges will give two weekends each month, some holidays and approximately one month in the summer. The amount of parenting time ordered depends on factors such as the age of the child and the distance between the parents' homes. In restraining order cases, parenting time may be more limited.

Can parenting time rights be denied or restricted?

Yes, but only by a judge, and only if the parenting time would put the child in real danger. Usually, this means showing the judge that the visiting parent has physically or sexually abused the child or committed another violent crime. Sometimes the judge will order that visits be supervised by a third party.

If the visiting parent shows up for a visit under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you may want to deny that one visit to protect your child. It is helpful to have a witness who saw what condition the visiting parent was in. If the pattern continues, you should ask that the parenting time be changed.

Do I have to make my children go on visits if they don't want to?

Your children should go on visits that a court has ordered, even if they don't want to go. You should try to find out why your child does not want the visits and you should try to work out the problems by talking to the other parent or through counseling. In rare cases a judge might change the parenting time order.

Do I have to let my child visit the other parent out of state? If so, who pays travel expenses?

In most cases you must let the child visit out-of-state unless the order limits the visit to within the state. The divorce or custody decree may state who pays travel expenses. If there is nothing in the decree about who pays travel costs, the person who asks for the visiting time will usually end up paying but you may agree to share the costs.

What should I do if my child's other parent denies parenting time that the court gave me?

You should first try to talk to the other parent to try to work out the problem. In some counties, this discussion can occur in mediation. If that fails, you should get a lawyer to ask the judge for an order holding the custodial parent in contempt of court. The judge can order penalties until the other parent allows the visits.

You cannot stop making child support payments on your own. But you can ask a judge to free you from paying child support until you get your visits. Judges do not like to stop child support payments and they will only do so if there is proof that you have had very serious problems getting parenting time.

Can the parent with custody move out of state with the children? Can that parent then deny the other parent parenting time?

A parent with custody can move out of state with the children unless this is forbidden by the divorce decree or a court order. A parent who moves has no right to deny parenting time to the other parent. A parent who is denied parenting time with children who live out of state will probably need to get a lawyer. Most courts in other states will make the parent give the parenting time that was ordered by an Oregon court.

How do I change the terms of parenting time?

In some counties, you can reach an agreement in mediation which could then be approved by a judge as a court order. In other counties, you will have to get a lawyer to go back to court for a change in the original parenting time order. To get the parenting time terms changed, you need to prove to the judge that it is best for the children if the parenting time terms are changed. You do not need to show that there has been a change from the way things were at the time of the first order.